Episode 143

full
Published on:

22nd May 2023

You are Never Too Old: Stories of Reinvention and Optimism as we age

Episode #143

As a Baby Boomer, what does it mean to say that we are “Never Too Old to Set Another Goal or Dream a New Dream?”  During my podcast, Hey Boomer, I have the pleasure of sharing inspiring stories that highlight the power of positivity and growth during the aging process.

In this episode I talk about guests who prove that age is just a number, and one can never be too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. From Don who started his own business at 76 to Melissa's decision to follow her passion for filmmaking and highlight stories of women over 60, everyone has the potential to thrive during later life. My guests remind us that embracing a growth mindset and being optimistic can lead to more favorable outcomes.

I also share some pivotal stories from my life that helped me to embrace my age and follow my dreams, even now, as I approach my 70th birthday.

The episode encourages listeners to find joy in the moment, embrace ageism, and tackle life's challenges with courage.

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Unravel the art of welcoming the aging process with open arms.
  • Delve into the life-changing role of positivity and a growth mindset in thriving throughout your older years.
  • Dispel ageist assumptions and harness the power of transforming limitations into vibrant life opportunities.
  • Be inspired by the stories of guests who fearlessly reinvented themselves and pursued their passions in their later years.
  • Fuel a life of enthusiasm, courage, and lasting relevance for an enriched and rewarding experience.

Thanks so much for listening.

Please Subscribe, Rate and Review

Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram

Email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz

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Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what’s next.”

Find out more about Wendy’s 6-week “What’s Next Transition” Coaching workshop

Support our Sponsor, Road Scholar at roadscholar.org/heyboomer

Download the Vitality Assessment at https://heyboomer.biz



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Transcript

Wendy Green:

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Hello and welcome to the Hey Boomer show.

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The show for those of us who believe that we are never too old to set another goal or

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dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green and I am your host of Hey, Boomer.

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Before we get into today's topic, I want to talk for a moment about our sponsor, Road

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Scholar. Road Scholar is the not for profit leader in educational travel for boomers and

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beyond. And many of you know that in about ten days I am going on a Road Scholar trip to

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Costa Rica. A trip that I'm actually hosting with Road Scholar with a lot of my friends

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who will be joining us.

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And, you know, they sent us some information about the trip.

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And you get the stuff that you would expect, like the visa information or any kind of

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vaccine information.

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But Road Scholar goes above and beyond.

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They give us information about the kinds of food that you eat in Costa Rica, the plumbing

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issues that you might run into in Costa Rica, the how to prepare for the outdoors.

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What about Costa Rican showers?

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So things that we would never normally have thought of.

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They provided in this information package.

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I highly recommend the Road Scholar organization as an organization to travel

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with, and I would like to encourage you to go check out the trips that they have.

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They go to all 50 states, over 100 countries, and you can find a listing of all

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of these trips and adventures on the website roadscholar.org/heyBoomer

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and please use the slash hey boomer because that lets them know that you heard about

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their organization from this show.

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I also wanted to ask if you have downloaded the vitality assessment yet.

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That is an assessment, pretty short assessment that gives you some insight into

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whether you're feeling fully vitalized, whether you feel like you have enough

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sustained energy.

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Maybe you're feeling like you're running close to empty or now it's time to take stock

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and make some changes or improvements in the life that you're living.

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So go to the website.

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Heyboomer.biz, and you will find the Vitality Assessment link on the home page.

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So go there and download it now and enjoy hopefully your findings.

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Otherwise, let me know if there's something you want to talk about.

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Okay. Hi, everybody.

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Just a couple of comments before I get started.

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I am really excited about this show.

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I've worked really hard on putting this together and I've had a lot of support from

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people in my subscriber list, so I'm going to share a lot of those information, that

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information with you.

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I just want to say keep commenting.

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I'd love to see your comments, but I'm not going to pay much attention to the comments

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right now because I want to share all this information.

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And at the end of the show, if there are questions or thoughts that need to be

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addressed, I will address them then.

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So let's get going.

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What do I mean when I say you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream?

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This is a saying, like any saying.

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And sometimes the more we say it, then we really don't hear what it means.

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It just becomes words that come out of our mouth.

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So I wanted to break it down for you and I want to talk about what it means to me and

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what it means to some of those of you who shared your thoughts with me.

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So let's break this down, starting with another saying, Never say never.

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We can't always feel great, like we can do or be or dream anything we want to.

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There are times that we're tired.

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That we're scared, that things hurt, that we feel lonely or frustrated, or any number of

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feelings that impact our ability to live.

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The phrase You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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Sometimes it does feel like we're too old and that is just how we feel at that moment.

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I work hard at bringing you uplifting stories and guests so that when you need a

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shot of optimism, Hey, Boomer is a place that you can find it.

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And the truth is, sometimes I have to fake it till I make it.

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Okay, so from now on, when I say never, please do not think of it as a condemnation.

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If sometimes you don't feel great.

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We're all human after all.

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So moving on.

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What is old?

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The Webster Dictionary has many meanings.

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One is persisting from an earlier time like an "old" argument.

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Or of long standing like an "old" friend.

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Or having existed for a specified period of time like a three year "old" child.

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Or advanced in years or age like an "old" person.

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But as I read these definitions, old refers to a period of time, but nowhere does it

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indicate decline or loss of ability.

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I wonder why it has become such a loaded word that seems to indicate people who can no

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longer participate in the activities of learning or living.

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That is not what old means.

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I'm reading a book right now by an author who will be on Hey Boomer in June.

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And there's a line in the book spoken by one of the characters where she says she

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appreciates the chance to get better at getting older.

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Getting older is what we are doing, if we are lucky.

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Okay, so now we have the idea that never too old can also mean that sometimes we feel like

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the years have advanced too much and then we can remind ourselves that what we really have

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is an opportunity to get better at getting older.

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I'm going to save the ideas about setting another goal or dreaming a new dream till the

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end. A few of the people that responded to my request for ideas on this topic really

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answered this part of the saying beautifully.

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So now I want to share some stories with you.

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I think our milestone birthdays tend to make us nervous about getting old.

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My 60th birthday was a big one for me growing up as a baby boomer.

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We always saw ourselves as young.

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We danced, we hiked, we went to rallies.

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We wore our hair long.

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We were going to be perpetually young.

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At 52, I started a new business called Kids Art.

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At 50, I remarried.

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At 58, I divorced and sold my business and at 60 I moved to Greenville.

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So obviously I did not know a lot of people in Greenville to celebrate my birthday with.

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So I rented a house at Lake Lure in North Carolina and my kids and grandkids and I

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spent a wonderful weekend by this mountain lake.

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It turns out that it was Dirty Dancing weekend at Lake Lure, and they were

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practicing the lift.

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Remember Johnny Castle and Baby the lift in the lake.

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So that was fun to watch.

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Did I participate?

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Oh, no, I did not.

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But then the years ticked by and suddenly I was looking at 65.

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Now, I knew people; had started going downtown every night for the Friday Night

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Live music.

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I had joined a meetup group for people 50 to 60 years old, but the cut off age was 60, so

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I was too old for this group.

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At least that is what some of the people told me, even though I had been in the group

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for a while. And as my birthday was getting closer, I heard that the Meetup group was

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throwing a birthday party for another woman in the group, but I was not invited.

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So at first I felt hurt.

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I felt angry.

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I felt rejected, like, you know, what is going on.

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But then I decided, no, I was not going to let that get me down.

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So instead I made a cake.

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I brought it downtown to the music.

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I brought paper plates and forks, and I set it up on a table.

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And I invited everybody that was there to help me celebrate my 65th birthday.

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And it was at that moment that I decided I was going to embrace my age and not hide it.

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And it was at that dance that I met a woman who was 90 who was dancing, and she and I

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became dance buddies.

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And we would meet there every Friday night and dance.

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And she taught me that you are never too old to still dance and she's still dancing.

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She's 94 now.

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So in preparation for this episode, I sent an email to my subscribers asking them what

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never too old meant to them.

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I thought that maybe the expression would put pressure on someone who was feeling down

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or ill and they might feel badly about themselves if they kept hearing me say,

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You're never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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And certainly that is not my intention.

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And my subscribers came through.

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I got some wonderful responses and I want to share some with you.

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I think one of the happiest came from Nikki in Greenville.

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And I remember shortly after I started, Hey, Boomer, I was wearing a sleeveless top.

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And since the show goes live before it goes to audio, everyone could see that I was

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wearing a sleeveless top.

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After the show, my mother called me.

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She told me I looked nice, but that it was not appropriate to wear a sleeveless top at

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my age.

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She may deny that she said that, but I can assure you that she said that.

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Nikki's response to my request of what does never too old mean to you was You are never

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too old to go sleeveless in the summer.

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Those arms have given a thousand hugs, baked dozens and dozens of cookies, cleaned

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bathrooms for 50 plus years.

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They've earned their comfort and freedom.

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And so have you. And thank you, Nikki.

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Going sleeveless.

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And I got many never too old stories about reinventing.

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Philip from Virginia became an author at 70 of a children's book with leadership lessons,

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and he will be on my show at the end of June.

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Melissa from Philadelphia left a corporate career to become a filmmaker.

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She had never done anything like this before, but she just felt driven to do that.

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And she has created a documentary film called Beyond 60, creating visibility for

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older women and their stories.

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And yes, Melissa will be on my show at the end of July.

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Don from Hawaii wrote to me about starting a new business at 76, creating new art and

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learning to fly fish.

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Don was on Hey Boomer last year talking about swimming and photographing sharks and

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other creatures in the sea and volcanoes in Hawaii.

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I do have inspiring guests who share their stories of reinvention.

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So never too old is also a mindset.

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Some people wrote about struggling with limitations of aging like arthritis or low

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energy or even illness.

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It got me thinking about a couple of role models of the never too old mindset that

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managed to live life with purpose and passion in spite of physical limitations.

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According to Stanford University, mindsets are the assumptions and expectations you hold

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about yourself, your life and the situations around you.

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Research shows that mindsets play a significant role in determining life's

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outcomes. You may have heard the concept of fixed and growth mindsets.

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This was also developed at Stanford by Professor Carol Dweck.

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A fixed mindset keeps you stuck.

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Like you believe because something happened before.

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It's going to happen again.

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A growth mindset lets you open to other possibilities, hence the opportunity to grow

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your perspective on life.

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And according to the National Academy of Science.

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Optimism is a psychological attribute characterized as the general expectation that

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good things will happen or the belief that the future will be favorable.

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Because one can control important outcomes.

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Previous studies reported that more optimistic individuals are less likely to

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suffer from chronic diseases and die prematurely.

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Their results further suggest that optimism is specifically related to 11 to 15% longer

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lifespan on average, and to greater odds of achieving exceptional longevity, which they

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call living to the age of 85 or beyond.

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Overall findings suggest optimism may be an important psychosocial resource for extending

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lifespan in older adults.

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My dad had an optimistic growth mindset.

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He was always an athlete.

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He played semi-pro baseball for the New York Yankees as a young man.

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He played in the county leagues for most of my childhood.

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I remember many weekends in the ballpark with him.

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Later he took up tennis and became a very competitive tennis player.

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But after his 70th birthday, he began to develop physical problems.

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They discovered an aortic aneurysm, fortunately, in time to correct it.

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He had back surgery for pain he was having in his legs and that did not help very much.

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Then he developed lung cancer, followed by prostate cancer.

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And finally it was kidney failure and COPD that ended his life at the age of 83.

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My dad started hospice care at home in December 2008.

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I drove down from Virginia to stay with him and my mom for however long he had.

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It was about an eight hour drive.

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And every couple of hours he would call to see how I was doing and to say he wanted to

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take me out to dinner when I got there.

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And I kept reassuring him, I just want to be there with you.

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Don't worry about going out to dinner.

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By the time I arrived, he was worn out and in the bed.

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The Wizard of Oz was coming on TV and he wanted me to crawl up into the bed with him

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and watch The Wizard of Oz with him.

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What a sweet way to start my stay with them.

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Sure he had moments of frustration and even anger, particularly when we stopped his

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ability to drive.

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But overall, he managed to keep an optimistic attitude.

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I remember one day walking into the sun room where he was writing.

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He was deep in concentration.

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I watched for a few minutes before asking what he was working on.

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My dad was writing a play about Irving Berlin.

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He had a dream of putting the play on at the retirement community where he lived.

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The idea of this dream filled me with so much respect for him and sadness knowing that

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he would probably not live long enough to see this dream come to fruition.

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But he did not let that stop him.

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He embraced the never too old mindset in spite of his physical decline, and he managed

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to complete the writing of the show before he passed.

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And my mother produced the show in his honor with actors from the community where they

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lived. Another person who embraced the mindset of never too old, or in his case, it

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was probably never too ill.

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Is Stephen Hawking.

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Steven was diagnosed with a motor neurone disease at 21, which, as we know, eventually

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left him paralysed and unable to talk without electronic help.

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As the disease progressed, Stephen stayed engaged with his work teaching, presenting

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and researching.

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He lived his life with purpose and interest for as long as possible until his death at

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the age of 76.

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Much longer than his life expectancy.

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We cannot all be like Stephen Hawking or even like my dad.

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I do believe, though, that having a mindset of being engaged with life and learning and

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giving is possible, even with limitations.

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We adjust to our limitations and we keep living.

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Never too old means having a growth mindset and an optimistic outlook on life.

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My friend Sarah Joy reframed the idea by saying, I'm finally old enough.

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Old enough to know what I value, to feel some financial security, to explore fun

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activities without having to be afraid of what others might think.

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Even to change jobs.

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Old enough. Don't you love that?

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With age comes wisdom and usually more confidence.

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We are mostly over caring about what others think about us.

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Julie, one of my subscribers, shared the following thoughts with me.

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For me, Julie said.

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My current stage of life is giving me the happiest, most fulfilling years I've ever

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known. I harbor no regrets, no feelings of opportunity lost or squandered.

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Rather, I feel that the sum of my life experience now infuses me with the confidence

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to take on new endeavors, savor the accumulated rewards of a life embraced, and

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apply my full attention to everything that rewards me with joy.

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Over the years, I have developed the necessary emotional skills to weather

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disappointment, challenge and loss.

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I am fully realized and thoroughly content.

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Way to go, Julie.

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My friend Janine Vanderberg, who is the leader of a group called Changing the

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Narrative, has been running a campaign called What if Aging Was Unbound by Ageism?

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Are you letting society's ageist ideas about getting older, limiting your thinking, Limit

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your thinking about what is possible as you age?

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Are you embarrassed by your wrinkles or greying or receding hair?

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What if aging was unbound by ageism?

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We can take the lead in changing the negative.

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Ideas of aging by embracing the belief that we are never too old to set another goal or

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dream a new dream.

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And I told.

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You I'd come back to what I think about when I say to set another goal or dream a new

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dream. I want to do this by sharing two final thoughts sent in by other Hey Boomer

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subscribers. Stella from North Carolina said, Reclaim the dreams of your youth.

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Make new dreams.

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Do the work that's important to you now, not the work you were supposed to be doing all

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those years.

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This is our moment.

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Walk away from fear and embrace joy.

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Tell people you love them and you always will.

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Even when you're gone.

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If not now when?

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And finally, Frankie.

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From Connecticut.

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Summed it up beautifully this way.

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You are never too old.

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To find awe in each and every day.

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You are never too old to help others, and in doing so, you will get more back than what is

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given. You are never too old to appreciate nature.

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You are never too old to be blessed.

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For what you have.

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You are never too old to change.

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Habits that are not good for your.

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Health. You are never too old to learn more about yourself.

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You are never too old to try new foods, experience other cultures.

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You're never too old to fix relationships that.

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Were problematic in the past.

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You are never too old to let go of painful.

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Memories and you are never.

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Too old to stop.

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And smell the flowers.

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I want to thank all.

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Of you who have contributed to this episode.

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Nikki, Phillip, Melissa, Don, Sarah, Joy, Julie, Stella Franci, and all the rest.

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Of you who did. Not call out by name.

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This is the kind of stuff we talk about on each Hey Boomer episode and work on in What's

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Next Coaching? I do.

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It is such gratifying work.

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And if this was.

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Meaningful to you, please.

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Share it with others.

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If you're listening. On the podcast rate and review.

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And let's get the word out that you are never too old.

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So let me go back and look at some of these comments and see if there are things that I

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can comment on.

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Thank you all for what the beautiful comments.

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Never say never.

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Yes, I live in Greenville.

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Yes. Or Josephine.

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Or wear shorts or tights.

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Yeah. Have a growth mindset?

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Absolutely. My mom says so of these ideas about never too old, is it not okay to be

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content with your life as it is?

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Is it not okay.

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To be. Content.

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With your life as it is?

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I think you want to be content with your life as it is.

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It may not be as you thought it would be or as.

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You hoped it would be.

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But having.

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An optimistic outlook and and trying to find the best in your life every day is really

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going to improve that feeling of contentment with your life in spite of the frustrations.

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Or limitations that you may be feeling.

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Uh, let's see. Is there anything else?

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Please share this quote from Julie.

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Okay, I will.

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What if aging.

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Was unbound by ageism?

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Yeah. Comment on that.

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What if aging was unbound by ageism?

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I think that. Is a really important question.

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And you can find changing the narrative on Facebook and LinkedIn.

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And they also have a website where they are having people address that question every

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day. So.

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Let's see. Deb thank.

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You. Deb Thank you, Stella.

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All right. So as a reminder.

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First of all, thank you, everybody, for tuning in and.

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Sharing your thoughts as we went through this episode.

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When you think of travel, think about Road Scholar.

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They are such an excellent organization.

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Go to roadscholar.org/heyBoomer and don't leave off the hey boomer.

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It lets them know I sent you and go to the HeyBoomer.biz home page and download the

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Vitality assessment.

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Before we go, let me just remind you that next Monday is Memorial Day and there will

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not be a show for Hey Boomer.

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And then the following Monday, I will be in Costa Rica.

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Very excited.

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I am going to see if I can't at least record some.

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Episodes from there.

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Maybe I can do a Facebook live from there.

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I'm going to. Try.

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So check it out.

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And if I can't do them live from there, I will definitely bring you back some

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recordings to share about this adventure that we are going on with Road Scholar.

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So before I go, I always like to leave you with the belief.

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That we can live with curiosity.

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Live with courage, and live with relevance.

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And now, you know, we are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green, and this is Ben.

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About the Podcast

Hey, Boomer
Real Talk about Aging Well
Hey, Boomer! goes beyond the surface, exploring the complexities of family relationships, maintaining health, navigating caregiving, coping with divorce or widowhood, financial concerns, housing and technology. It's the podcast that acknowledges the challenges and opportunities that come with aging, with a compassionate and realistic approach.

Join fellow Baby Boomers every week for insightful interviews and genuine discussions on the topics that matter most to help prepare us to age well.

Hosted by Wendy Green, her conversational style ensures every episode feels like a heartfelt chat between friends. Her guests range from experts to everyday individuals, bringing their wisdom and experiences to the table, creating an atmosphere of trust, understanding, and genuine connection.

About your host

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Wendy Green